How to get phone service transferred into your name:

1. Call AT&T and ask to have the name on the account changed
2. Get told that you have to call the current account holder and have them authorize it
3. Call the current account holder and have them authorize it
4. Call AT&T back and ask to have the name on the account changed
5. Get told that you need the security code on the most recent bill for security purposes
6. Get told that, at any rate, in order to change the name, the DSL on the line has to be disconnected, and then reconnected which takes 10 days
7. Insert head into wall.

I’m tempted to call them back, ask for a brand new phone line, and a brand new DSL line, pretend the old line doesn’t exist, wait for the new line to get connected, then have them cancel the old line, and hope that they can do that without interrupting service.

Also, the DSL will come from a different company, one that has enough brainpower to find their own ass in a locked closet, with both hands, a map, a flashlight and a bloodhound. (Without interrupting service.) I’d consider mentioning this fact to AT&T (underscoring that they’d be losing at least my DSL business) in the hopes that it’ll give them an incentive to pull their head out of their ass, but I don’t trust them to not screw it up.